Canis lupus familiaris or the common dog tend to be one of the most loyal companions that have been forged from mankind since the cow was tamed. The dog, or written backwards 'God eht', has nothing to do with the God of eht. And unlike a cat, which animals urine glows in the dark and can cause you Toxoplasmosis, there is very little chance of getting ill from a dog in Australia. Recently scientists from the university of Birdsville Queensland have discovered a new epidemic arising in Australia's dog population.

All dogs held in captivity are catching the dreaded 'ap1a' disease. Where dogs faces begin to turn into Pixie Jones, the woman from the Australian Pensioners Insurance Agency advertisements on television. Professor Neil Sheeper explains.
"Since the usual Aussie dog is inside of a night time, and the tv ads are often played endlessly on every channel, the dogs supreme senses are bombarded and begin to reflect what they perceive". Indeed the problem has become so widespread that organisations such as PETA and other animal welfare groups lobbied the federal government asking for the ads to be removed from the airwaves.
There reaction is at a snails pace, as most are over 55 and no longer working. RSPCA board member Sophie Horseich told insane urine soaked man on park bench news and world media that, quote, 'Its all a big conspiracy by Advertisement agencies and Insurance companies for more people to be reminded about a certain product, so like an elephant, we never forget'.

Although the ads remain in broadcast circulation, there are now public service announcements asking that if you see that bitch Pixie Jones or any dog affected by 'ap1a' to run over them in a hotted-up car or invite them to a wild party involving goats. Because anyone under the age of 25 does these things apparently.