Everyone knows the frustration of ringing up an international business or brothel , then getting that electronic voice menu. For people who are not familiar or dont know what im talking about, let me jog your memory. "Welcome to big large soulless bastard company. To speak with an Indian call centre operator who doesn't understand English press 1. To get disconnected immediately press 2. To wait another hour on the phone please hold." Then some dodgy music from 1908 starts playing over the line.

If you've been stuck on the side of the road while its pissing down with rain will know how ulcer-inducing this can be. Fortunately, scientists from the university of Hebel have founded a revolutionary new way to serve customers on the phone. Insane urine soaked man on park bench news reporters talked to the inventor of the system, Ogfam Rechdehitler, from Germany.

"After years of waiting on the phone to be served i created a machine that links directly to the brain of the manager of the company. After a simple operation, the CEO will be able to receive calls directly to his or her cranium, without the need for voice menu prompts. If the manager does not answer said enquiry within a certain timeframe, a large electric shock will be administered, and will continue until an answer has been given". Mr Rechdehitler also hopes this will actually make CEO's do a bit of work, instead of sitting around getting paid extravagant amounts of money for making coffee.